Accepting the apology you never got …

Wow, what a loaded topic.

You see, the thing is, in life you’ll probably get less apologies than you deserve and that sucks. People will take advantage and hurt you, sometimes without realising it.

Most of the time everyone is so busy dealing with their own demons that they might not even notice or realise how their actions have hurt you.

Sometimes waiting for the apology you never got means you will wait forever.

Sometimes YOU have to take action and accept the apology that never came. Accept it and let it go. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in bitterness forever. Forgive and let go.

This is probably the most difficult advice I’ve ever given and ever tried to apply to my own life. It’s a process, let me tell you! I’ve gone through my past and picked out a few of the biggest hurts and really focused on letting go.

Anger holds you back

I found that holding onto my anger was holding me back from not only happiness but also pursuing my dreams. It was another obstacle clouding my vision, using my precious energy.

I prayed for a change in my heart and, as a result, I’m on a never-ending journey toward a compassionate and humble way of life.

Day by day, I’ve come to the realisation that anger is a true, raw emotion that must be felt but never held on to. Let it go.

5 tools to help let go of anger

You’re probably asking, “But how, Jen? How do get yourself to forgive, it’s not easy!”. I know it’s not easy and I don’t have the answers.  I just know what has helped me along my forgiveness pursuit.

Jen’s Tools for forgiveness:

  1. A great book that really got me thinking was Joyce Meyer’s The Power of Forgiveness.
  2. A journal – write letters, thoughts, anything to just get it all out (brace yourself, it’s not going to be pretty).
  3. Talk – whether you rant to an objective bestie, counsellor or psychologist – it helps to get your thoughts out there and to hear objective advice in return.
  4. Silence – spend some time with yourself in silence and really listen to what your heart is saying.
  5. Time – You’ll need more than a day, more than a week, heck you might even think you’ve fully let go of something only to find yourself back at square one a few years down the line. That’s okay, give yourself a break. Just go through the process again. It gets easier.

What are you holding onto in your life that is holding you back? Isn’t it time to accept the apology you never got and let it go?

crazy beautiful blog

 

Jenna-Leigh de Wit

Blogger and Social Media Strategist. In ♡ with the idea of inspiring with words & photographs.

2 Comments
  1. Its sometimes hard to let go of anger and take the apology you never got because in some ways you are letting the other person get away with whatever they have done. It takes a lot of maturity to do this, people will probably be a lot happier in the if they just let go of their negative views though.

    Thank you for your thoughts Jenna-Leigh

    1. You’re right, forgiving them can feel like you’re letting them win. I like to remind myself that the only person I’m punishing with my anger, is myself. I’m the one held captive while the ‘offender’ continues with his life. I become the winner when I choose to forgive.

      I’m by no means saying forgiveness means pretending like nothing happened, that would be false. If you feel like you need to talk to your ‘offender’ about what happened, by all means. If you think it isn’t worth your time or effort, that’s okay as well.

      A lot of the time we are hurt because people have crossed the personal boundaries we didn’t even know we had. Spending time setting healthy boundaries is a good way to avoid uncomfortable situations. Deciding on boundaries helps you define who you are and who you are not, what you will accept and what you won’t, when you will say yes and when you will say a definite no. It’s part of a healthy, balanced life.

      This book called Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud comes highly recommended and although I haven’t read it just yet, it’s high on my reading list! It’s all about setting boundaries physically, mentally, and spiritually and conveying them in a constructive manner.

      Thanks for the comment, Steven! You’re right, if only we could let go of our negativity and focus on the positive instead!

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